Why My Accountant Changed His Phone Number

My accountant, Gerald, and I had what I would call a 'creative partnership.' He called it 'an ongoing emergency.' Tomato, tomato.

Gerald believed in things like 'receipts' and 'balanced books' and 'not betting the business account on a hunch.' I believed in vision. We were never going to see eye to eye.

One day I called Gerald to discuss my latest strategy. The number was disconnected. I assumed it was a mistake. It was not a mistake. Gerald had moved. To a state. He would not say which.

I hired a new accountant. She cried on the first day. On the second day, she asked if the numbers were 'a joke.' They were not a joke. They were a lifestyle.

Gerald, if you're reading this: I forgive you. And I still have your calculator.