Jackpot Reviews Johnny's Velvet Collection

Hello. Jackpot here. Johnny's 'luxury lifestyle consultant.' Which is a fancy way of saying I judge him professionally. I am very well-paid in treats.

This season, Johnny has acquired seven velvet blazers. Seven. In the same color. He calls it 'a capsule collection.' I call it 'a problem.'

The purple one is fine. The other purple one is redundant. The third purple one is an insult to the first two. I have chewed the lapel of the fourth. You're welcome.

Final verdict: 2 out of 5 chew toys. Johnny has too much velvet and not enough self-awareness. But I love him. He is, after all, the one who feeds me. Allegedly on schedule. Mostly.